Get Smart
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Maxwell Smart is a secret agent. Maxwell Smart isn’t very smart. Known as Agent 86, Smart works with Agent 99 for Control, a Washington DC based counter intelligence agency.
The Mel Brooks spoof spy show features a familiar premise; the duo investigate threats by evil-doers, an organisation called Kaos, Smart bungles his way through the episode until 99 invariably helps save the day, and the evil doers are defeated. The 1960s and 70s TV series, starring Don Adams (Maxwell Smart), Barbara Feldon (Agent 99), and Edward Platt (Chief – their boss at Control), was a tremendous success. It ran for five series and 138 episodes (1965 - 1970), has had a variety of updates and spin offs and a Steve Carell movie of 2008. |
Get Smart Gadgets and DevicesIt is difficult to describe The Cone of Silence. It is perhaps one of the finest spoof gadgets the small screen has ever experienced and truly classic comedy.
We also saw a ‘Closet of Silence’ which was used when the Cone of Silence had been rented out to the CIA. We also recall an Umbrella of Silence. Add suspicion and covert operations, secret talks and communications, and complete stupidity, and you have great comedy. It really was absolute genius. |
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The most famous Get Smart gadget is undoubtedly the shoe phone. Agent 86 was regularly seen taking his shoe off to have a conversation.
The Shoe Phone was not alone - Get Smart featured phones in all sorts of clothing: Spectacles, necktie, handkerchief, belt and even a garter. And it wasn’t just clothing, we saw phones in a fire hydrant, a cheese sandwich, a bar of soap, a garden hose and even a cuckoo clock in the Chief’s office. Communication was a major joke of the Get Smart series, and devices including a variety of food and drink items featured, such as an ice cube microphone, a French bread triangulation device, and a bowl of fruit microphone and transmitter. Not to mention coffee and doughnut radio. We saw a listening device in a pencil, a telegraph in castanets, invisible chalk, a table tennis bat short wave radio, and even a Secret Word File, which is used when the Cone of Silence is broken – The cunning device features flashcards with words written on them. |
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Weapons were also hidden in ingenious places: A fishing rod machine gun, an inflatable horse, a violin, a rubber duck, and even a paintbrush.
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Even more fun, were the miscellaneous weapons. We have included a comprehensive list below to highlight the imagination of the writers, Mel Brooks and Buck Henry.
Electro-Retrogressor Gun Pocket Disintegrator Pen (KAOS In CONTROL) Electric Grass (Satan Place) Explosive Expando-Rice Ignitopaste Toothpaste (Weekend Vampire) Nitro Floor Paint Timed Explosive Paint Exploding Vibration Paint (Kisses For KAOS) Flooding Phone Booth (All In The Mind) Poison Gas Shooting Cigarette Lighter (I'm Only Human) TK800 - Tranquilizer Bomb (The Amazing Harry Hoo) Wheelchair Armed with Knives (Ship of Spies) Plastic Mannequin Spray (Shipment to Beirut) Exploding Wallet Suicide Ring X11 - Laser Missile Detector (A Spy For A Spy) Poison Lipstick Bracelet Switchblade (Kiss of Death) Bird Bomb Miniature Torpedo Hammer (Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Spies In A Sub) Knockout Gas Horoscope Book (The Decoy) Tube of Paint Sword (Bronzefinger) Exploding Birthday Cake (Hoo Done It) Cigarettes Hand Grenades (Island of the Darned) Tear Gas Pen Aluminum Knuckle (Cutback at Control) Foot Plastercast Grenade (A Man Called Smart) Disintegrator Steps Remote Control Laser American Football Bomb (Witness for the Persecution) |
Attack Vase (One of Our Olives is Missing) Sonic Boom Machine (Sonic Boom) Nuclear Powered Bullet Boots Cufflinks Hand Grenades (When Good Fellows Get Together) Electric Mosquito (Dr Yes) Omega Deltoid Solatron Mark II (The Mysterious Dr T) Stair Spears (The Little Black Book) Poison Dart Pencil (Operation: Ridiculous) Nitrowhisperin (Spy, Spy Birdie) Snead Synthetic Onion (Run, Robot, Run) Ping Pong Ball Grenade (Die, Spy) Poison Phonograph Needle (The Impossible Mission) Laser Blazer (The Laser Blazer) Sleeping Dirt (One Nation Invisible) Knockout Lipstick (The Day They Raided The Knights) Poison Tipped Golf Ball Nuclear Golf Ball Exploding Golf Ball (I Shot 86 Today) Spear Painting Paper Pal Detonating Pen (Leadside) Knife Tipped Crutch (Greer Window) Laser Beam Gun (Pheasant Under Glass) Baby Carriage Machine Gun (Ironhand) Bazooka Broom (Age Before Duty) Mortar Mortar (Is This Trip Necessary?) Maricoba Carnivorae (What's it all About, Algie?) Sleeping Gas Pen Narco Soundwave 512 (I Am Curiously Yellow) |
Needless to say, drugs also play a significant role - Probably because you can just make up a name for an Aspirin. And they really did have some marvellous chemists!
An Absorbo Pill absorbs all alcohol – this would be worth a fortune if it came on the market. There were salt tablets disguised as shirt buttons, sleeping foot powder and a drug that gives wax figures life. Best of all; and this is classic Mel Brooks - Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride which counteracts Sodium Calcium Chloride. Plus of course, Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride, which counteracts Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride and allows the poison to work again. And finally, Anti-Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride, which counteracts Pro-Anti-Sodium Calcium Chloride. Weapons are one thing, but a good spy, or in Smart’s case, a bumbling dope of a spy, needs some protection, and some of those protection devices stretch the imagination far beyond James Bond’s invisible car from Die Another Day. |
And finally, we have a big bunch of daft gadgets and devices that rendered the irritating canned laughter of the show, pointless: An Inflato-Coat (not to be confused with Inlafto-Girl), and Suction Cup Shoes, which were nowhere near as good as “Strato Shoes” which featured compressed air in the heel that would send the wearer into the air.
There was of course the highly useful Invisible Dust, a Canine Brainwasher, and a Heliocoat, which would lift the wearer by way of helium balloons.
Brilliantly, there was a Computer Trumpet. You ask the trumpet for a song and it plays it. There was also a Computer Piano that played songs by itself. If that sounds far-fetched, any golfer would tell you that a straight hitting golf club would be the best invention ever. Especially if it came with accompanying magnetic golf balls.
Similar to Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible franchise three decades or so later, Get Smart featured New Face Spray – just spray a new face over your old face.
And a great TV Show summariser – The Sacred Gong of Ming Chong Ho, will hypnotize whoever hears it and places them under the control of the person banging the gong.